I have been fighting a rather silent battle for some days now: to write or not to write?
That question is deeper than first meets the eye. And the deeper you think about it, the more propelled you are toward the tail end part of the question.
Not to write.
So it’s cool not to write… hmm… so what do I do now, delete all my content? What? What?
Each time we write, we send a piece of ourselves out there, into the open, onto the internet. And this process could be exhilarating; thinking how readers will react to what you write, trying to anticipate their reactions. The whole brainwork could really leave you feeling drained.
I feel to have that oxygenated start as a blogger or writer or.., you have to care less what readers might think of your work. And remember, you’re your first reader, so you have to care less about what you think of your own work.
Personally, I’m the hardest on myself. You can picture me pacing, soliloquizing, asking if writing is what matters to my life right now, asking why I can’t just pass time like everyone else without feeling like I need to write something. It’s not like I’m getting paid for scribbling stuff, not yet. In fact, I just upgraded my plan to premium, so cash is actually leaving me. And getting paid in the blogosphere is even becoming more of a herculean task by the minute. So, why write?
Write to express? Bleh, that sounds more and more clicheric each day. So, why write? Because you can’t not write? That sounds twisted, but I think I’ve seen that expression somewhere. Yea, so people claim to write because they can’t stay away from writing or they are somewhat compelled to, like an OCD kinda thing.
That could be me, compelled to write. But why? For the flair? For the praise? Or maybe for relevance, self relevance. So can I say I write to feel important? That’s sick (LOL). Well, anything that strikes your fancy, right? But I won’t be surprised if truly I write to feel important. I mean, everyone is on to something. Some people hang out with friends to feel that sense of importance, some others go skiing or mountain climbing or whatever just to feel something. So it’s not a bad thing if I write to feel something good about myself.
But where do we draw the line, where does writing become a drug?
I guess that’s a topic for another time. As always, friends, thanks for reading. And remember, I read you too.