Hey 38

1

 

Hey,

I know what you expect me to do right now is to beg again and promise not to get you angry next time. Have you realized how many ‘last warnings’ you’ve given me recently? You’re good at this. No. You’re great at this. Torturing me. You know the things to say to get me kneeling at your feet. But not this time. Do your worst. I won’t beg you to be human. What have I done to you? Is it a crime to love you? Yea! I love you! I know that looks like the biggest mistake of all time, but I do. You can make me regret it all you want, but I love you, because I still think of you, of us. I just don’t know why you can’t love me back. Why is it so hard for you to love me back. Am I not loveable? Am I not deserving of love? Why is your heart stony toward me? You’re like this wall that just won’t crack. But then you’re not a wall, you’re a human being that wants so badly to be a wall. A heart of stone. I think it’s better for me to be in my bubble and be sensitive than for me to be out there and be walking dead.

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Quote #152

It’s like my hands are no longer mine. I touch myself and it feels like you’re touching me.

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