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This Blogging Thing is Hard

Look, this blogging thing is hard. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense why I get on some platform called WordPress and write things only a dozen people will see. You kind of get the feeling that you’re wasting your time.

I’ve seen on a blog post or two how it is important that you write for yourself or a particular reader, but you can’t neglect the fact that some amount of recognition is also important in encouraging the blogger. The likes and the views matter.

Victor Enesi

Human beings are social beings. We love when we’re being recognized, when we’re being seen, it kind of validates our existence.

“Oh, they know I’m alive. My work matters. What I do matters. I matter.”

Those words up there are some serious dopamine actuators, pure motivation.

It is good to feel good about yourself and also about what you do. Whether you write, take photos, do lab science, work in a bank, an engineer, an artist, it is very important to feel good about yourself.

Fortunately and unfortunately, we live in a world were we have to pay for things to move, you know, there’s got to be some kind of stimulant; money. To get these views you have to pay. You have to pay to promote your posts and your site. It kind of makes sense, but we also see a lot of junk being promoted.


Thanks for reading, friends. Victor here, I love to share thoughts about the world, stories and other things. Well, thanks for reading. Stay tuned.

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There Was This Burning Curiosity Alive in Me

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Sometimes you look at this world and you’re like, yea, life is cool. And sometimes you look at this world and you’re like, what kind of hell is this?

©Victor Enesi

Growing up, I was philosophically hard on my parents. Why am I here? What am I doing here? What is here? I was always this child that would relentlessly ask questions. I wanted to know. There was this burning curiosity alive in me. It wasn’t enough to just go to church and swallow everything I was told, I wanted to know. How did the world come about? Well, that’s not your question to ask, they said. In fact, God abhors questions.

And now I’m thinking, the white man God or the universe God?

The thing about me is I don’t play politics. We die either way, so why do I have to please you? I’m going to speak the truth in black and white. Yea, slavery happened. Yea, it’s messed up. Yea, humans kinda have no clue.

For me, mostly, it’s all a dream. Trying to understand reality is progressively futile. Uncountable atoms work all day, not for you to try to understand them, but for you to imagine, to create.

Think about it, why atoms? Why electrons moving about a thing called nucleus? Why are there so many of them? Why all the clockwork? For us to dwell all our infinitesimal lifetimes figuring it out? All these existential industry for us to keep asking why it’s happening?

It’s intricately futile!

The storyteller would say, I know reality (existence) is complex, complex enough to make me, so why don’t I seek to connect the dots, creat my own reality?

Well, what will the philosopher say? What will you say?

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My lappy crashed today

My lappy crashed today. It’s all white screen and nothing else, so annoying. I’ve done everything in a bid to bring the machine back to life, but no’in is working. It’s just so annoying. I got a bunch of information on the drive too.

Phew! Fucking ones and zeros. 1s and 0s. Damn! The dude just had to go crash. I’ve got age-old pictures in there for crying out loud! Damn, how do I get those stuffs back? Gosh!

Truth is I’m not even feeling gingered to go anywhere repairing stuff right now. This bunch of icing metals just picked a wrong time to go haywire. Fuck. Yea, I know the swear word, but fuck it nonetheless.

I don’t even know what to do right now. I opened the back cover and did all em removing of appendages, waiting a minute, but still no show. Let’s just say I’ve done everything in the book.

Well, here I am using my phone to write this post. So, nothing can stop me. Yup, nothing.

Thursday, 18, July 23:05

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I’m outside. The air feels a bit cool. I see a few faces, I also see a tanker driving by accosted by a patient car. I’m faking making a phone call when actually I’m recording this post.

I’m walking on a curved road on the sidewalk. I see coconut trees. A car is approaching, its headlights too bright to make out its model. There are streetlights as high as coconut trees. I see cell towers stretching into the night sky.

Have you noticed that when you place your phone to your ears, people just assume you’re making a phone call? But that’s not always the case. I mean, my phone has been at my ear and I’m not really making a phone call or anything, but I bet everyone that has walked past me thinks I am, when actually I’m just recording a post. *giggles*

One common challenge most writers need to overcome is shyness; your perception of what people think of you.

Really, I put the phone to my ear just not to draw attention. I really believe in speaking. I believe that’s the true strength of your writing, that’s your voice. Writing is just a technique to put down your voice; symbols and hieroglyphs.

Writers try so hard to look “normal”, when actually there’s nothing normal per se.

One common challenge most writers need to overcome is shyness; your perception of what people think of you. Imagine all the stress I have to go through putting my phone to my ear and I’m without my earpiece. Even if I was with my earpiece, I still would have a reservation talking out to the air (mic). People actually think you’re mad when you just talk out without a phone on your ear. Even when you have the headset on, people will still pay you a second glance, like “Oh, okay, this dude is well.” Hahahahaha!

Writers try so hard to look “normal”, when actually there’s nothing normal per se. We go through all that stress to appear normal, to not draw attention. Well, it’s understandable, because when people look at you too much, it’s a kind of distraction to your creative flow. That’s why most times you just lock yourself in a room and you write and write and write, because that’s where no one else is but you. That’s where your creative juices really stir up.

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It’s a Saturday, one of those days to relax and think about a lot of things; the things you can’t change and the things you can.

Life has always been mysterious. Like why are we even here? Is there somewhere from here? Some of the questions that keep the brain firing. I think it’s a good thing that not all questions have answers. Just imagine that we could answer all the questions in the universe, would it make for an interesting existence? Or a rather boring one.