My name is Jennifer and I have a gift. I can make you laugh uncontrollably.
It started when I was twelve, people would look at my face and grow sad, sad because I had a scar. It happened when dad, mum and I were going to see grandma. It was raining heavily and I still remember everything. I remember the noise the wipers made with the windscreen, I remember it was cold inside, I remember the roads were wet, I remember the beads of water racing up the windscreen, I remember dad saying “honey, who’s that?” I remember mum saying “It looks like… someone.” I remember it was pouring too heavily for dad to get a clear view, I remember seeing her for a moment, I remember dad quickly swerving, I remember the car turned once, and then twice, I remember forcing the door open and rolling out, I remember heavy drops of rain beating my face, I remember the gash on my cheek hurting like fire. I remember seeing her, her gnarly face, an old hag in a hood. I remember her twisting her head left and right and then bending down, I remember her touching my eyes as she closed hers, I remember the pain in my cheek multiplied a thousandfold, I remember her laughing so loud, I remember thunder, and then she wasn’t there anymore.
I stood up and looked through the glass for mum and dad. The door didn’t open, they were trapped inside the car. Dad and mum were looking at me. I blinked and they smiled. They died smiling.
Two days ago, a car pulled up by my side, and the glass came down. A guy spoke from inside, he said his name was Quickmoney. He said he liked me and would like to take me out. I refused. He looked at me for a while and burst into laughter, and he zoomed off. He laughed at my scar! He laughed at me because I was ugly. It hurt, it hurt so badly. People usually get sad when they look at my face and I make them laugh by blinking. But this guy, Quickmoney or whatever his name is, had the guts to laugh at first sight.
I spent the remaining hours of that day searching Facebook for anyone named Quickmoney that looked like that idiot. I found him. I sent him a message the next day.
“Hello, I’m that girl you talked to by the roadside yesterday. I’m so sorry for refusing to go out with you, I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ve had enough time to think about your request, and I think any girl would be foolish not to go out with you. Please reconsider.”
“Yes, Jennifer, you have finally come back to your senses. I only pitied you that’s why I even stopped by to talk to you, it’s not like you’re fine or anything, I just want to do you a favour. Let’s meet at my place tomorrow…”
Today I’d be meeting him at his place. I have something planned for him. I dress in my sexiest outfit and board a taxi. I ring the bell and he opens. He’s licking his lips. He moves to touch me, “Not so quick,” I say. He hisses and then smiles again. I look at him and blink. He laughs. I blink again, he laughs uncontrollably. I blink even faster, he laughs and falls to the ground. He can’t stop laughing, tears are even rolling out of his eyes. He looks at me and I blink again and he bursts into raucous laughter throwing himself left, right and centre. I keep blinking, he keeps laughing so loud. I bring out an external hard drive from my bag and put on his TV. I connect the hard drive to the TV and select a five-hour video in which I’m always blinking rapidly. As he watches the video he laughs even harder. I can tell he’s already in pain from laughing too much. I leave his house. I can still hear him laughing from outside.